An Unexpected Pilgrimage

Dear Mom and Dad,

I had a pretty profound experience recently. I found myself in St. Louis, Missouri to see the relics of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. I know you both remember how much I like to travel but this trip was unlike any other. My desire to go felt like nothing I have ever felt before. Looking back on it now, I see that it was actually more of a pilgrimage than just a trip and maybe that’s why it felt so different. I didn’t look at it initially as a pilgrimage because I’ve always heard the term “pilgrimage” used when people go to far off places overseas and, as much as I would love to do that, it’s just not possible right now. But I think God had been looking out for me and let me know that seeing the relics of Thérèse was, indeed, part of His plan. And He used Thérèse herself to guide me to her.

I first learned about the tour of her relics earlier this year and felt drawn to go but it seemed too out of the realm of possibilities so I resigned myself to the fact that it just wasn’t going to be possible. But a few weeks ago, it was almost like she was calling to me by leaving little clues that she wanted me to see her. A statue of her here, roses there, even a homily during mass that mentioned her as one of the greatest saints. I knew I had to go.

As my friend and I entered Little Flower Catholic Church (yes, that is the real name of the church), I was overcome with emotion that I cannot explain. A beautiful ossuary enclosed in a glass case was poised in the center of the church. We joined the line that had already begun forming, as many were anxious to be near Thérèse. And even though I was feeling emotion while we waited in line, I wasn’t prepared for how I felt when it was my turn to walk towards the ossuary.

Mom and Dad, I knelt down in front of her and held back tears. I have a rosary necklace that I bought a while back and felt compelled to hold it up to the glass. My hands grew warm and I was a bit worried that I would leave a sweat mark on the glass. I closed my eyes and prayed. I honestly don’t even remember what I prayed, specifically but I gave thanks. 

I wish you could have seen it. I wish you had been there with me. Actually, I think you were.

At one point, I remember thinking of both of you and your funerals. They both seem like a blur right now. Dad, I remember you kneeling during Mom’s funeral mass and being so worried about your knees since you had just had knee replacement surgery. I thought of that as I knelt before Thérèse.

I remember not being able to move as a wave of memories flooded me. I looked at the beautiful enclosure that held the bones of Thérèse and wished there was somewhere I could go to visit you both. A gravesite or something. A tangible place to be in your presence and feel you near me in some way.

And yet, that day, I felt you close to me. Almost like you both were there with me. One of you on either side of me with a hand on my shoulder and Thérèse before us.

Is this what a pilgrimage is supposed to feel like? I didn’t think of it as a pilgrimage but, now, looking back on it I do believe that’s exactly what it was. And throughout the rest of my trip, I had so many encounters that seemed only possible because of the Holy Spirit. 

Maybe one day I’ll be able to explain it better. Or maybe I don’t need to explain it because you both already know what’s on my heart and how much this unexpected pilgrimage continues to affect me and is bringing me closer to God. 

I love you both so much and hope you are proud of me.

Until we meet again, God Bless.

Love,

Jenni